Merry Christmas
by NotNaturalGirl-96
Summary: Sherlock stared at the gravestone like it was offending him, as snow fell around him. Sherlock normally looked so put together but he was barely able to hold himself up right now. (Hope this summary draws you in. One-Shot. Hope you enjoy the feels!))


Sherlock stared at the gravestone like it was offending him, as snow fell around him. Sherlock normally looked so put together but he was barely able to hold himself up right now. John stepped closer to Sherlock and carefully took his hand, "It's time to go love."

Sherlock closed his eyes and nodded before kneeling down and pressing lips to the top of the gravestone softly whispering "Merry Christmas Mycroft."

It had only been a month since Mycroft's death, Sherlock was barely hanging on to his sobriety and he was sure if John weren't around he would have given in as soon as he had gotten the call. Sherlock stood and tried to give John a smile but John knew better, so he held his hand out for Sherlock. Sherlock took John's hand and they walked quietly away from the gravestone, they walked to the car, Mycroft had surprised them and left John money and one of his cars so they didn't have to take cabs anymore. With the request of one thing, they made sure Greg Lestrade was okay. Sherlock climbed into the passenger seat and looked amongst the stones of the cemetery as snow continued to fall, even as far away as they were Sherlock knew exactly which stone was his big brothers. Sherlock closed his eyes against the burning sensation, Mycroft had told him that losing him would break his heart, but Sherlock never realized how hard Mycroft's death would hit him, even though he had known better he had come to think of Mycroft as invincible and in the past few years they had grown closer.

Sherlock went to his mind palace as John drove, he remembered the day Mycroft had told him he had cancer,

 _'It seems that you may outlive me after all brother mine… My doctor has informed me I have lung cancer.'_

Sherlock had been shocked but didn't think Mycroft would actually die, Mycroft had the best care available he would be fine. That's what he had told himself, but was things took a darker turn he had gone through all the stages of grief before Mycroft had even been gone. All of them except acceptance, he was still stuck in the depression stage and he hated himself for it. Part of him wondered what Mycroft would say, the mind palace version of Mycroft stated, _'I always told you Sherlock, caring is not an advantage. Look what it's done to you, crying over my death. You knew better little brother, I was not immortal.'_

John softly laid his hand on Sherlock's shoulder, they were back at the flat but Sherlock was still in his mind palace, he was sure Sherlock didn't realize he was actually crying, John cleared his throat and lightly spoke, "Sherlock, love we're home."

Sherlock opened his eyes and blinked a few times before getting out of the car, absently wiping at the abhorrent tears falling from his eyes. Sherlock barely paid any attention as he went up the stairs and straight to his chair, folding his legs close to him resting his head on his knees as he closed his eyes and tuned things out. Sherlock knew it wasn't fair to John, but John had also been there for him not matter how many times he tried to push him away. John walked up the stairs and smiled a little sadly at Sherlock, he knew he wasn't paying attention so he put his coat away before going to the kitchen to make Sherlock a cuppa. That had been a easy way to soothe Sherlock down as of late, once the tea was ready John touched Sherlock's shoulder letting him know he was there before sitting down in his own chair. This went on for an hour before John finally had to get up to prepare for dinner, Greg was coming over with his and Mycroft's adopted son, Molly was bringing her boyfriend, while Mrs. Hudson had agreed to help with some of the cooking John didn't want to put to much of it on her. John had decided to cook most of it ahead of time so it would just need finishing. It still took 3 hours and once he was almost done there was a doorbell and so he shouted for Sherlock, "Sherlock get the door."

Sherlock jumped a bit when John yelled, then he quickly got up and went down the stairs to get the door, when he saw Greg holding his nephew he actually had a genuine smile and opened the door, "Gregory, Alexander."

Alex smiled excitedly and reached out for Sherlock, "Uncle 'Lock!"

Sherlock smiled and carefully took the 3 year old boy from Greg and stepped aside letting Greg in, Greg smiled and headed upstairs. Greg smiled as he heard his son giggling from things Sherlock said, the past month had been hard and Alex was confused as to why his father was no longer there but going Sherlock was good with explaining things to him, the same way Mycroft had done when he had gotten sick. Greg smiled as he saw John in the kitchen finishing everything up and he cleared his throat, "Hi John,"

John turned and gave Greg a sort of comforting smile, "Greg, where's Alex?"

Greg motioned towards the door, "With Sherlock,"

Barely a minute later Sherlock came through carrying the small boy and the both of them were genuinely smiling. John smiled at seeing Sherlock's smile, he loved his nephew dearly and he was so good with children. Alex wiggled out of Sherlock's arms and run over to Greg, "Papa Uncle Lock told me a secret!"

Greg looked at Sherlock questioningly but Sherlock's face was blank so he just kneeled and picked up his son, "Oh did he now, can you tell me?"

Alex giggled and then shook his head, "Not yet Papa, he says I have to wait til after dinner."

Greg smiled softly bei]fore nodding, even though he was wary of what Sherlock could have said to his son he also trusted them man, Greg look at Alex, "Could you say hello to Uncle John."

Alex blushed but turned to where John was standing and waved softly, "Ello Uncle John."

John smiled a bit, "Hello Alex, would you like some Juice?"

Alex's eyes lit up and he nodded excitedly, "Yes please!"

John smiled wider and then turned to the cupboard and got out one of the little boy's cups before getting his favorite cranberry juice. John remembered when Sherlock first gave the boy cranberry juice, he hadn't expected the boy who was only 16 months old then to like the cranberry juice but he was practically addicted to it now. John handed Alex the cup and ruffled his curly ginger hair a little, "There you go Alex."

Soon Molly and her boyfriend arrived, Sherlock of course deduced the man quickly but kept his observations to himself as he played with his nephew. While everyone was making small talk John went to the kitchen to start setting everything up, Greg followed him and offered, "D'ya need any help John?"

John looked up and then shook his head, "Nah, everything's done just want to make sure it's all set out." Greg hummed in reply but made no move to leave the kitchen so he slowed his movements down and looked at Greg more closely, "Are you getting enough sleep?"

Greg laughed a bit sadly before shrugging, "Some nights I sleep fine, other nights its not so easy."

John nodded a little, "I understand, how's Alex?"

Greg looked to his son as Sherlock played with him, "He doesn't understand, not fully anyways. Well sometimes he seems like he completely understands and asks these damn brilliant questions, I started telling him to write them down for Sherlock, he always answers those questions better than I do"

John smiled sadly, "It isn't your fault Greg, he just had a brilliant father and a brilliant Uncle. Don't tell Sherlock I called him brilliant, it'll boost his ego to much."

Greg chuckled a bit before looked at Sherlock who was talking to Alex quietly, "How's Sherlock doing?"

John sighed a little, "That's a bit of a loaded question. He hasn't relapsed if your wondering, I've been keeping an eye on him."

Greg nodded, "Good, any idea's on this secret Sherlock told Alex?"

John shook his head, "Not really,"

After dinner everyone was still sitting at the table talking between themselves, Alex kept looking at Sherlock looking for a signal of some sorts because he was excited. Sherlock finally looked over to Sherlock and signaled Alex to come over, Alex leaped from his chair and ran to Sherlock's side. Sherlock looked at Alex and whispered in the boys ear, "Are you ready Alexander."

Alex nodded excitedly his voice a bit singsongy, "Yes Uncle Lock come on you're taking foreverr."

Sherlock chuckled before ruffling the young boys hair before standing and clearing his throat gently bringing everyone's attention to him, his eyes traveled over everyones, Greg sat to John's right, Mrs. Hudson was at the other end of the table while Molly was sitting next to her, and her boyfriend next to where Alex was sitting but now Alex was standing next to him. Sherlock smiled a bit before taking another deep breath and speaking, "Thank you all for coming tonight, after Mycroft got sick he made me promise something, he made me promise to not be alone ever again, he made me swear to love John Watson. I planned this before Mycroft died, I had hoped he would be here to see me fulfill my promise but it will be alright."

Molly and Mrs. Hudson seemed to understand and their eyes filled with tears but they both stayed quiet. Greg also understood and he smiled a bit, John was completely oblivious and looked at Sherlock with confusion. Sherlock took another deep breath before turning to John, "Doctor John Watson, My doctor, I know I used to believe that love was just a chemical reaction, until I met you. I realized I would do anything for you. I wish I wouldn't have had to go so far but I would make the same choices again to keep you safe, but I would change them because you weren't happy. My final promise to Mycroft, was that I just bloody marry you already, so John Hamish Watson, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?" As Sherlock said John's full name he dropped down to one knee and carefully took the small ring box from Alex and watched John's face.

John swallowed the emotions before laughing out, "Of course I'll marry you you git."

Sherlock's smile widened and he took out the ring, putting it on John's hand before suddenly kissing John with so much love and hope. It was hard to be doing this without Mycroft here but he had made this promise to Mycroft. Not that he was just doing this as a promise to Mycroft, he loved John so deeply he was never going to let the man away again. It wasn't perfect, but things would get better, he had his doctor, and he had a nephew to help mentor. Things were going to be okay soon, not right now, today was still a great day, but the pain was still there for now. With John's help it would be easier.


End file.
